Sunday, October 16, 2011

Proper Worship

Today I find myself inordinately frustrated with the people attending my friend's ward. Typically I find myself quite proud of the conduct of those with whom I share my beliefs. With only a few small, negligible exceptions I feel the vast majority of the LDS population acts with some level of propriety. Certainly, in most cases, that propriety is at least seen to in church functions and settings where the members are worried, if not of disturbing others, then at least what their fellow church goers will think should there be some sort of a disruption in the gentle facade of quiet and reverence.

Such facade does not seem to be the stumbling block of the ward I am currently attending. Where normally parents would quietly excuse their presence from the room if their children act out or becomes disruptive, such does not seem to be the social protocol of this group. Screaming and yelling children are accompanied by only slightly quieter screaming and yelling parents.

So here comes the question: what is the appropriate course of action? For myself, I find myself so distracted by the noise and commotion around me that I resort to blogging about my experience, having given up minutes ago all hope of feeling the spirit. But, just because I am unable (or perhaps unwilling?) to feel the spirit through the noise of it all, does that give me the right to begrudge the parents of said noisy children their chance to stay in the room and feel the spirit also? I, obviously, don't have children of my own, but I do have two sisters who are children and I cannot imagine my mother or father EVER letting us make that amount of noise in the chapel no matter how much they were personally in need of some spiritual enlightenment.

So again, what is appropriate? Do I, as a single working girl, need to continue to exercise outward patience for a situation that I have no personal part in, or should I have the expectation of being in an atmosphere when at church of being able to feel the spirit?  (Spot the fallacies in that statement! :P)  And, also, when I do someday (assumptive) find myself in that situation, will I have the right to let my children scream and carry on so that I, too, can attempt to feel the spirit?

Monday, October 3, 2011

My Revelation

Today has been a ridiculously long day.  It's been full of smiles and tears, hellos and goodbyes and miles and miles of driving.  There are so many thousands of things that I could write about my experience today driving through and changing in the world...but the only one I want to write is my greatest thought and epiphany of the evening. 

I'm sure that a lot of people have discovered this thought already as I am positive my personal revelations are not new.  I often wonder if one can, truly, have an original thought--or if all the good ones or any worth having have already been acknowledged somewhere else, some time else, by someone else.  To whomever first thought this one and sent its rays out into the universe, thank you.  You are, without a doubt, correct in my mind.

Today, I realized that demanding perfection of others does not make them perfect, or even desiring them to be so.  Demanding perfection in others only makes them seek to hide their imperfections from you, so as to still win your love under false pretenses and facades that crumble with poor maintenance.

I know, it's a "duh" statement.  Tonight, however, it hit me with a clarity that it hasn't before.  To an extent, my self love and what I view as general acceptance of other viewpoints, has been a measure of this statement...but tonight it feels personal.  Tonight I believe it.